Olympia Ruby (Ollie Ru) choosing a book before bedtime.

Every night, right before bed, my 9 month old daughter and I read Mommy, Mama, and Me.

Reading to her is some of our sweetest time together. We read throughout the day, but the books before naps and bedtime are always the most precious. She’s tired. I’m tired. And a book or two gives us the chance to cuddle up and wind down. I love watching her focus in on the pages, point to faces, soak it all up.

As a member of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) community, I think a lot about the things that create culture – the subtle and not so subtle messages that our kids get about how the world works. Since becoming a parent, I feel keenly aware of the messages kids’ books send to tiny minds. Gender and racial stereotypes stain the pages of books that generations of us have grown up on. There is a deep need for books that positively reflect back the diversity of the world around us.

Kristina Wertz (left), Kara, and baby Olympia.

I want my daughter to grow up seeing her own two-mom family as nothing out of the ordinary. I want her to grow up seeing the truth of the families we know as the reality of American culture, not as an exception or an alternative. I’m not just talking about white families with two moms like ours, but black and brown families, interracial families, interfaith families, families with two dads, kids with divorced parents, with single parents, kids being raised by their grandparents, kids who just moved to the United States, kids with disabilities, kids challenging gender norms, and on and on.

Not only do I want books to help my daughter feel “normal,” I want books to help her feel proud. I want her to know how lucky she is to be in a queer family. To us, being a queer family means we are family with every LGBTQ person on this planet. Right now, we are a family in mourning. We are grieving our lost queer Latinx brothers and sisters in Orlando. And we find solace and strength in our community and our queer culture. It is our pride that keeps us strong in times like these when we are reminded that being gay isn’t all unicorns and rainbows.

Luckily my daughter doesn’t have to worry about all that right now. Right now she needs to take a nap. Sleeping soundly having just heard her two favorite words, “mommy” and “mama” over and over. That’s what will make her proud in the years to come.

Further Reading for Families

A Rainbow Celebration: Gays and Lesbians in Books for Children – a reading list compiled by the San Francisco Public Library